Babies! they are little wonders of joy that bring happiness and smile to everyone's face with their cuteness. Babies are so naive, innocent and adorable and everyone loves to play with them and pull their cheeks. Every one only wants to do the fun part and no one wants the crying, changing dirty diapers and sleepless night. I feel like kids are blessings in disguise. They are hard to handle and can take everything you got from time, energy and sleep, but they are worth it. There is no right way or wrong way of parenting as every kid has their own needs and requires different style to parenting. Parenting style differ from country to country and are different in every culture.
The article is there love after the baby is very interesting and it reflects American expectations that couples have from their partners. Women expect men to do 50-50 work whereas men expect everything to remain almost the same. Compare now the roles of a mother and a father were pretty clear which made things easier for them as a couple. They knew exactly what was expected from each other and as long as they fulfill their duties and did their part there shouldn't be any problems.Problem now is that couples do not know what is expected of them. In their mind they are doing what they think is right, but at the same time things are not really panning out.
I do not have any kids at the moment and i not know by any means how good or bad it is to raise a child. What kind of problems can arise between a couple after having a child. I know that whenever i do have kids i know because of the culture i was brought up in that i would have do take care of the child the most. For the father spending time with the kid was after he gets back from work and isn't required to help with the baby unless asked. I know i will be making few minor changes to that as women in my culture did not have jobs as opposed to now, hence it was easier to take care of the kids. I know i would expect more from my husband as a father because i too would have a job and would share all the responsibilities equally.
Having a baby is so crazy, it seriously changes EVERYTHING. It is really hard to find a balance between all the roles. I am so spoiled in the fact that I have a husband who loves nothing more than being with our daughter but it is also hard because since I am always gone at work or school, I often feel like I am left out of their little club. And you are so right when you say women expect things to be 50/50 and men want things to stay the same... Drives me nuts! I don't know what the answer is to this age old dilemma and I am not even sure there is one. All I can say is, try to find a balance, try to find some time for yourselves and each other here and there and try to keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteYes I can honestly say have a baby puts the pressure on! When I had my first my baby I felt like I just expected help from his father. I thought he could automatically tell when I was about to have a break down. But I was wrong anytime I needed help with something I had to ask, or I needed to go somewhere it was like can you watch our baby. I feel like either he wasn't reading my signals at all. I did expect 50/50.When I look back I think I could of explained to him the pressure I was feeling. Being at home all day with a baby!!! while he was at work all day. And then he was too tired to spend time with us. It was a lot of pressure and our relationship definitely suffered.
ReplyDeleteMost couples now definitely do not plan ahead they often go at things without knowing exactly what they want to get out. This can sneak up on a lot of new parents and cause problems because they are often no prepare finically and emotionally to care for a baby. And with the women wanting to be providers rather than caretakers the family dynamic has definitely changed. This makes it difficulty to choose who is the provider and who is the caretaker which often leads to conflict and if they both are providers the baby is often left to day care which stretches a family finically and deprives the child of parental contact and connections.
ReplyDelete